You Have Arrived


You're here, and I'm glad for it...even if you aren't. But I hope you soon will be.


I am a self-declared spastic Sophomore here at the University of Arizona. The basic idea behind this project is that college life is weird, wonderful, and sometimes downright awful. I started this blog because I know I'm not alone - that there are millions of people out there, spastic or not, who could use an encouraging word or humorous story now and then. If through my experiences, thoughts, and actions, I can be a conduit for joy, I'll gladly tell the world (or at least the blogosphere) of my spastic escapades.

Read on, brave patrons, and enjoy.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Second Semester Spazz

     Good evening, people of Earth.
     It's the first day of the new semester here at the UA, and I'm feeling pretty good. Which is interesting, considering that last night I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to even get to sleep before 2:30am. I'd said goodbye to my horse that morning, my dad and brother that afternoon, and my mom had just pulled out to drive back to Phoenix. After a month at home with everyone I loved, the prospect of sitting alone in my apartment wasn't exactly exciting.
     My morning went a little something like this:
     Hauled my zombie-like self out of bed. Took a cold shower (horrible idea, by the way; I wouldn't recommend it). Had a bowl of exceptionally ordinary oatmeal. Checked the clock. Craptastic. Skipped morning coffee (definitely wouldn't recommend that one). Threw on a hoodie. Caught the shuttle to the uni. Sulked for twenty minutes.
     And there you have it. Nah, I'm just kidding - I wouldn't leave you with that. All of the above is true, but my day did a complete turnaround in a single moment. The moment I reached the second crack in the sidewalk, to be exact. The moment I did what I do best. It wasn't a dramatic tumble - rather a 'near-faceplant experience,' as it were. Nevertheless, surprisingly uplifting. A bit like a cuff on the back of the head; like, "hey, snap out of it." So I did. I put on a smile and made the most of my day. Optimism is a wonderful thing.
     Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop a couple of Aspirin and hit the sack. Unfortunately, making the most of my day turned out to mean cleaning my bedroom and killing my back in the process. Not awesome. Oh, right...optimism.

Have a wonderful night, earthlings. Until my next trip,
Be blessed!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Coffee Bean and Tea Tsunami

Hey there, World.

     Blog-worthy news has been in short supply the past few weeks.You'd think Christmas break would be prime time for injuries, especially for someone like me. Not so this year. Ordinarily, a hiatus on tripping would make me one happy spazz. It's actually been a bit of a downer - I've missed you.
Alas, the arrival of Chelsea (you remember my evil twin) in my hometown has provided me with the perfect opportunity to tell you a story. I've come to the conclusion that she is a catalyst for my klutziness; her, and vastly important milestones in life during which tripping would be pretty much the most embarrassing thing one can do, short of losing one's trousers.
     Evil Twin rolled into Phoenix this afternoon to ride my horse with our friend Keili (who, if her parents had named her Chelsea, would make us an Evil Trio, which would be awesome). Afterward, the three of us headed to the Coffee Bean. I ordered the largest iced tea they could give me. No joke, this thing was a beast. Chelsea must have been radiating some serious spazz-waves, because I had barely begun to enjoy my tea when it happened (insert dramatic music). I was sitting down at a table and leaned a bit too far forward. One of my...uhh...girls..caught the rim of the tea and pulled the whole thing straight into my lap. When the suffocating bouts of laughter finally fizzled out and I stood up, I looked down. The bulk of the liquid had hit just the right spot to give me the quintessential "I had an accident" look, then proceeded to cascade down the leg of my jeans. Brilliant. And it didn't help matters that the tea was about the right shade of yellowish-brown to be urine from someone in desperate need of a new kidney. Or two.
     I predict my next update will be coming soon - I'm starting the new semester in under a week and am bound to have a fresh series of incidents for you all to chuckle at. I look forward to it.